Serie A is a country for old men

Just hours before Real Madrid-Barcelona, a match where the standouts were a veteran, Robert Lewandowski, and two young players born in 2007, Lamine Yamal and Pau Cubarsì, Genoa finalized the deal for Mario Balotelli. The agreement was reached after days of negotiations during a critical time for the Ligurian club, grappling with injuries to key players and a disappointing summer transfer window. For now, the possible return of Francesco Totti to playing football remains just a rumor (and fortunately so, we might add), with talk not of a lower league but of Serie A itself. According to reports, Como is seriously considering reinstating the 48-year-old Roman legend into Italy’s top tier, seemingly justifying the nickname "Farmer’s League".

«No, it’s not a joke. I’ve taken it somewhat seriously, so we’ll see. There are one or two teams. Let’s see what my head says, but more importantly, how my body reacts. The mind already knows the answer. Who knows what the next year holds,» said Totti regarding a potential return. The issue here isn’t so much Totti’s words as the interest from Como, which, if confirmed (no official comment has been made yet), would represent a significant blow to the reputation of a league that already struggles in multiple respects among Europe’s elite. Why consider a 48-year-old retired since 2017, who has since taken up padel tennis and found his niche among Roman entrepreneurs who aim to attract new players to a sport often associated with retirees?

But if Balotelli and Totti’s desire to return to top-level football is already profoundly sad—a move that could turn cherished memories held by their biggest fans into ghastly ones—the way these soap operas have been handled is even more grotesque, as is the context in which they’ve been set up. Balotelli managed to catch Genoa’s attention through his appearances on "Controcalcio," a podcast hosted by Enerix, Damiano Er Faina, and Emiliano Viviano. Essentially, it’s a lowbrow show where he rants at a screen, recycling the same joke for two years; a public figure known for his cigarette lighter tosses and content-free outbursts.

Until recently, he called himself in a grammatically flawed bio “a guy who speaks his mind when he dislikes something.” Then there’s Emiliano Viviano, a former decent player who now participates in a podcast as a hobby outside of football. You can’t really blame him; he’s come to terms with his fate—something Francesco Totti should have done as well. In Italy, small-sided football pitches are everywhere, and they should be enough to satisfy ex-footballers' perpetual need for attention.

The podcasters’ pleas, together with the involvement of Enock, Balotelli's brother, appear to have convinced the higher-ups of a club in disarray, forced to rely solely on Andrea Pinamonti in attack. Here comes the last chance for Mr. "Why Always Me": at 35, after scoring 7 goals in 16 matches last season in Turkey’s Süper Lig with Adana Demirspor and 6 goals in 20 matches with Sion in the 2022/23 season. We’ll see when he’ll be fit to return to the field in acceptable form and which low-profile defender will be the first to disprove those who still consider Mario Balotelli the most technically gifted striker currently available in Serie A.

Balotelli’s signing comes just a day after the Derby d'Italia between Inter and Juventus, one of the most spectacular editions ever, free from the technical rigidity and tactics that had stifled Juventus for years under Massimiliano Allegri's direction—a widely shared, if debatable, assessment among journalists. Balotelli’s signing thus dampens the wave of enthusiasm: for 24 hours, some were even calling it a breakthrough game for Italian football, moving beyond timid, defensive tactics, forgetting that, at the same time, Mario Balotelli was close to signing with Genoa and Totti was reentering the discussion about a possible, improbable return to the field, in an almost comedic fashion.

Real Madrid-Barcelona is joy; the 4-4 between Inter and Juventus, despite the technical errors of the players on the field that enabled an emotional rollercoaster, is joy; the return of Balotelli and the possible return of Francesco Totti are disheartening—especially as the King's League and Goat’s League have brought a refreshing new wave to amateur football, establishing themselves as a great way for former players to have healthy fun and for fans to enjoy the game. Right now, there’s nothing in its place.